With this ring...

You really never know why 2 people fall in love. The same can be said for why people get married. We all have friends who cause us to stop and think… why are they together? What makes them tick? Some couples are so very obvious in their pairing. Is she the Ying to his Yang or vice versa? Maybe he is loud and irrational, she calm, cool and collected. We, as outsiders can very rarely put our finger on a couple’s exact... magic. Successful couples are often asked what makes them work and many times can only give singular answers. The answers don’t translate in to steps others can take to move down the road to success. They are bits and pieces of why the couple works, but not really what makes them work. Think of it this way, you can have all the ingredients to make a cake, but that does not mean you will make a great cake or frankly that you will take the time and effort to make the cake at all.

Ah, but when a couple in your circle decides to un-couple, everyone seems to have an opinion. He was this, she was that. She let herself go, he has issues. We all make these statements and think we have the answer. But do we? The announcement of the splitting up of Al and Tipper Gore after 40 years of marriage has many people talking. Assumptions were made immediately about infidelity. Who had stepped out of the marriage or who had strayed? Was it another effect of global warming? Sorry... But 40 years is an incredibly long time to be married and then end it. I’ve been reading whatever I could find about these two and wonder if they may have actually come upon an ideal solution. They are friends, great friends by all accounts. Obviously they were and I believe still are, committed to each other. But they have grown and their lives have changed over the course of 4 decades. I would believe they decided to take the joy of their friendship, their union and allow each other to explore the next phase of their lives, unattached. Keep in mind; these 2 have been together since high school. How refreshing and unselfish would it be to step back from the marriage while you are each still intact? Imagine having the strength to not have had an affair or begin a relationship and hurt your partner. Novel idea right? Suppose the Gore’s decided that their love had moved to a new level and they both needed something or someone different. I wish more people could make these types of decisions before they hurt each other, their families and their kids. On the other hand, I find it amazing that they could have this incredible open communication to feel so safe that they could actually ask for what they needed. I’d like to think they will remain the friends and confidants that I believe them to be as they enter this new chapter of their lives.

The news also brought out another story of love and marriage. Two young people from a small town in Pennsylvania have announced they will marry on June 12th. Not normally newsworthy. But this time, unique. Amy and Steve, the bride and groom were both born on April 17th, both in 1986. Their mom’s both delivered their bundles of joy at St. Luke’s hospital. Ironically, they shared a room in that very hospital. As luck or fate or divine intervention would have it, the families attended the same church. Steve asked Amy out on a date while in high school. And now, they will be married. I for one love this story. I for one wish them all the joy, love, peace, happiness and passion their hearts, heads and hands can hold.

In 1980, there was a boy and girl who married. No one understood their connection. Almost no one thought they would last long as a couple. He had never dated anyone like her. She was so young. He was nothing like the image she had in her head of who she would fall in love with. He was 5 years older. They hadn’t known each other very long. But none of that mattered. They worked hard at their marriage and at keeping the sparks alive. They loved and laughed, cried and cared. As the years went on, friends and family would say they were perfect for each other. They were. When the time came for one to say good bye to the other, there was an all consuming sense of loss but an overwhelming pride, joy and appreciation that came over her. She knew she had been loved deeply, passionately and fully. She knew he felt he had been loved in just the same way. As he left her, they had a feeling that while their time together was shorter than they had hoped, it was time to be proud of and to celebrate. As she looks to next week and the 30th anniversary of their wedding, it is both sad and immensely happy. Sad because he is no longer here to celebrate, to hold her... happy because she knows she has had what most people can only dream of.

So to the Gore’s, Amy and Steve and all those just entering what can be the greatest days of your lives; may you find your heart’s desire and a love that lasts longer than you could ever wish for.