Did you hear it? You had to have heard it. It was amazingly loud. It was a deep, from your toes laughter bursting out from a pool in a nearby Downriver community. Why the exceptional laughter? Well, I was participating in my first ever deep water aerobics class. I am the first to admit that when God was passing out the coordination gene… he looked at me and said… “No! Next!” If the fitness equivalent to Forbes magazine ever put out a list of the top 50 most uncoordinated, un-athletic females in America, I think I’d be… at least in the 40’s. It has appeared at times that I gravitate toward that little lip on the sidewalk just to be able to trip over it. I’m the person in your office you worry about. You think maybe something funny is happening at home because of the strange bruises. But nope, really it’s all me. I don’t usually tell this story but I think it will bring this point home. Years ago I worked at an airport. Due to weather issues I had not arrived home until 4 am. Exhausted I got everyone out the door to work and school. As I attempted to wind down and get some rest, I heard the garbage truck coming down the street. I knew we had neglected to take the recycling bin out for pick up for a number of weeks. So I bolted up, grabbed the overflowing bin and took off out the front door. Now I had been in and out that front door for roughly 5 years, hundreds if not thousands of times. But this time was different. This time I neglected to actually walk down the 8 cement steps from the porch to the sidewalk. As I felt myself free falling I didn’t duck or tuck to protect myself. I didn’t think of how best to land to reduce the risk of injury. Nope, my thoughts were on who may be watching and what level of embarrassment I may be about to confront. I landed on my knees and knew I was really injured. But after a lifetime of spills and falls I was undeterred in my task. I hopped up, ran around the yard retrieving the recyclables and just in the nick of time met the garbage truck as it approached the end of the driveway. As I sprinted in to the house, doing my best not to cry at the pain, I realized I had really injured my knees. So logically one would get in the car and head to the ER or doctor. Not me, I went to sleep, got up a few hours later, did my Mom stuff and went to work. OK, I took a large amount of Tylenol too. Later that week a neighbor asked me if I was OK as he had seen the fall. I was mortified but as is my way, I smiled and brushed it off as if nothing had happened. Years later when severe knee problems began to set in, an Orthopedic Surgeon ask as he studied my x-rays and MRI… “So how long ago did you break you kneecaps”? 6 knee surgeries later it may have sunk in that if I hurt myself maybe I need to “man-up” and admit it.
My life style up until last fall was active but not in terms of fitness or exercise. I did many things but have to admit I would have to classify my life as sedentary. Oh I would take the occasional walk and keep at it for a couple weeks. The same can be said for diets. But once I tripped up either actually or metaphorically, I would give up. Each time I gave up, I really did more harm to my well being than I could imagine. As everything in my life changed last year, both internally and externally, I began to question myself and my actions. Among the millions of questions I have asked myself was why wasn’t I in better shape. In my head I knew what I needed to do. My difficulty came in learning to let myself fail as well as succeed. What would I have to lose, no pun intended, if I began to eat a healthy well balanced diet? Not diet, but change how, when and why I ate. What would be the worst that could happen if I got up and did some amount of movement? Would I look stupid? You bet! But what would that hurt? Who would that hurt? Could I gain enough positive from the feelings to outlast the negative? Could I make good food choices and still enjoy eating and socializing? Again, what is the worst that could happen? Did I have enough in me to let myself understand that if I worked out an eating plan but needed to detour from it on occasion I was still a good person? Was I willing to admit to myself that I had to get up every day with the motivation to continue the good I had done for myself the day before? Could I forgive myself for poor choices and recharge back to the level of success I felt I had to have?
So I did it. I took a good, hard look at what I eat, when I eat and why I eat. I looked at what I like to eat. I explored what foods work better for my body and what foods counteract with my metabolism and cause it to either speed up or slow down. I didn’t do any of this by myself and I thank those who have helped me. Without going into detail, I’m thrilled with the 26% body fat loss I’ve achieved. I have a long way to go but I know I’ll get there. Of course this plan also included exercise. I don’t tend to look too foolish eating a well balanced meal, but exercising is another story. I’ve joined Curves and after 6 month tend not to appear to be the train wreck I was when I started. I do sometimes get on to a machine and completely forget what I’m supposed to do. I’ve twice worked a machine opposite of how it was intended to be worked. The trainer is so kind; she completely understands my issues and just gently mentions my errors. At Curves there are recovery pads placed between each piece of equipment and there are movements posted at each one for the participant complete. I however only jog in place on the pads. For me to be elevated on an 18 X 18 square and doing jumping jacks is a disaster waiting to happen. Even just the jogging in place has me slipping off the pad at least twice a week. But I’m there and doing it. I also walk 3-4 miles several times a week. My body wants me to run… Depending on what’s on my IPod, I want to sprint down the road as fast as I can. But I don’t. I know all too well the visual this would create so self preservation stops me before it’s too late. Now come on, we have all laughed at the ridiculous runner you see flipping and flopping down the road in the name of good health. So as I continue this journey and take giant steps to remain active I’m letting go of some of my fears. I’m embracing my inner, OK and outer klutz and remembering how far I have come. Most important to me is how far I can go.
So the laughter was good for all of us in the pool. My pool mates are a bit older than I am but are much more expert in water aerobics than I’ll ever be. I came in to the group with a great self disclosing flourish, outing my lack of coordination for all to see. I think I actually thought there would be looks of shame as I not only infiltrated a group that had so obviously been together for quite some time, I came in as a lesser participant. But as I turned myself over to their control and asked openly for their help, I found I was embraced. I was cared for and nurtured. As class began I found I had not one instructor but 9. Each of these lovely ladies aided me in some way to make me feel worthy of their time and attention. I splashed and slipped and did almost every movement wrong at first. But we laughed, all of us. We didn’t laugh at me… we laughed with me. In that short 45 minute class I learned so much more that the beginnings of deep water aerobics. I learned that it’s OK to ask for help. It’s even OK to laugh at myself. I think most importantly I learned I don’t have to be the best. I learned to accept the success of just trying and in continuing to try when I have fallen. Ah, this is of course the best lesson of all!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Giving back and taking the heat for it
I work for a nationwide cable, internet and phone company. I really like what I do and believe I do a good job.
Growing up I was taught to give back to my community. I was raised to appreciate what I had and take time to help others. Community service was not something we were forced to do; it was just a part of our everyday lives. I remember in high school running a canned food drive at Thanksgiving with 2 friends. We were in danger of not meeting our goal. So we did what had to be done; we ran to the neighborhood next to the school and went door to door gathering donations until we were sure we had enough product to exceed our projected numbers. We never considered not meeting our goal.
So having been raised with this sense of community responsibility, I was thrilled to know the company I work for has this same passion. Each year, my employer has a day set aside for community care. Throughout the country thousands of employees spend thousands of hours of their own, personal time, working on projects to better their schools, local and national not-for-profits, parks, nature centers, the environment and much more. My employer has held this special day for the past 9 years. In that time, 1.3 million hours have been volunteered by 230,000 employees and their family and friends. These dedicated folks have worked on over 23,000 projects. This past Saturday was the designated day of giving back and in Michigan alone, more that 25 projects were completed.
Some projects do fall outside the actual Saturday Cares day and are held during the week. To coincide with Earth Day, a project was held at the Humburg Marsh in Trenton. Because this is in my extended neighborhood, I signed up for the project. For those of you who are not sure what or where this marsh is (don’t feel bad I had no idea) it is the last parcel of undeveloped land along the Detroit River. The land is opposite Humburg Island, just off Jefferson and Vreeland. Because this area is on an International waterway this marsh along with the island are part of an international cooperative with Canada. Much work was done on the political side to have this marsh be protected. Work continues as the Forest Service folks clear out plants and tree not indigenous to the area. The wildlife in the marsh is exquisite! So, our task was to plant trees. Lots of trees. Big trees, little seedlings and some bushes. Thanks has to go to DTE. They stopped in and dug the holes for the large tree, saving time and our backs. It was fabulous to see employees with their families prepare to get down and dirt all in the name of volunteerism. It was also renewing to watch a member of the senior leadership team and an entry level employee with just 90 days with the company, wrangling a tree in to the prepared hole, together. High 5’s all around as we completed the final step in planting each tree, the watering. At one point all of us planting the big trees looked up to race to get the next tree in the ground and we realized we were done. We had completed what would have taken the small staff at the marsh weeks to complete. Over in the seeding planting area the families, with kids as young as 5 were just completing their task. Rumor has it we planted 70 trees in under 2 hours.
The New Herald did a piece on the Mayor of Trenton and the Trenton City Council presenting a proclamation to the company I work for, recognizing their continued commitment to the communities where not only they do business but where their employees live. The piece discussed the Humburg project specifically. I felt a great sense of pride to be recognized in such a way. While it wasn’t recognition for me personally, it was a pat on the back for all of us at this company who choose to give back. I’ll say this and please know I am not attempting to elevate anyone’s opinion of me. But I work afternoons. So in order to be a part of project, I had to take a vacation day. I gladly took the day because I believe in the intent of the day and in project I worked on. Many of my colleagues also took personal time to work on the projects that touched their hearts. So you may understand why I was so saddened to read the comments people felt they needed to post on the New Herald website. While I firmly believe in free speech, I don’t believe our fore fathers created the 1st amendment for bashing and trashing volunteerism solely because of the company sponsoring the event. How can someone read about people giving of their time, energy and self and the only comment they can think to make is on the price of their cable bill or that their tech was late? Gee, makes me wonder…
Aside from working at the marsh, I was coordinator for a Literacy Day in SW Detroit on Saturday. My company partnered with City Year and LASED for this annual event run by Matrix. Matrix is a community service organization that runs, among many, many more projects, a federally recognized Head Start program. It was an honor to once again serve in the Mexican American community. I’ve been fortunate that this is my 3rd event within this community in as many years. My role was to coordinate all volunteers from roughly 12 service organizations as well as area corporate partners. Ideally we had hoped for 195 volunteers. The volunteers would be setting up, cleaning up, providing food and water for their fellow volunteers, working the various booths and assisting with crowd control. We also had to be sure all volunteers were registered and had been given event tee shirts. I’m thrilled to say that we did not have 195 volunteers we had 337! Everyone worked hard and despite the weather, the event was a huge success. Community leaders, business leaders and local activists made speeches and gave donations. Children heard stories; made books, played reading games and walked away with a bag of books they could call their own. The kids from City Year were a joy to work with and their passion for their tasks, be it assisting with registration or passing out maps never wavered. At the end of the event as I was putting the last if the supplies in my car, as my back was beginning to ache and exhaustion began to creep up, I noticed a small group of protesters. The protesters were demonstrating against the recent immigration laws signed in Arizona. While personally I don’t know enough about the law to comment on my feelings about it, I was dismayed to see it spill into this event. Yes you can argue the law affects the children but was this the proper forum for a protest?
I couldn’t help but wonder as I drove home if the newspaper comments or the demonstators would deter anyone from volunteering next year. Will the comments make someone think twice before giving of themselves for this or any community service event? Does our media broadcast enough about the good we do or does the bad sell more papers or bring in more viewers? It struck me then that while the local Fox station was at the Trenton sight for the entire time we were working, it was news of the moment, not news that would be used as the hook or lead story. It was filler, used only if nothing more exciting or glamorous came up. Funny that I never noticed the local ABC or NBC news vans at the Literacy Day until they were focusing on the protest. Did we send mixed messages to the kids? Protesting is more important than being a literate individual? I don’t know. While none of these comments or protests was directed at me personally, I will always take them, very personally.
For me, I’ll continue to give of my time, talents and funds to the causes that touch my heart. I will proudly proclaim my joy that I work for a company that nationwide hosted more than 250 community service project last week, And I will continue to take the heat for those who feel the need to subtract from the good in not only my community, but in me.
Growing up I was taught to give back to my community. I was raised to appreciate what I had and take time to help others. Community service was not something we were forced to do; it was just a part of our everyday lives. I remember in high school running a canned food drive at Thanksgiving with 2 friends. We were in danger of not meeting our goal. So we did what had to be done; we ran to the neighborhood next to the school and went door to door gathering donations until we were sure we had enough product to exceed our projected numbers. We never considered not meeting our goal.
So having been raised with this sense of community responsibility, I was thrilled to know the company I work for has this same passion. Each year, my employer has a day set aside for community care. Throughout the country thousands of employees spend thousands of hours of their own, personal time, working on projects to better their schools, local and national not-for-profits, parks, nature centers, the environment and much more. My employer has held this special day for the past 9 years. In that time, 1.3 million hours have been volunteered by 230,000 employees and their family and friends. These dedicated folks have worked on over 23,000 projects. This past Saturday was the designated day of giving back and in Michigan alone, more that 25 projects were completed.
Some projects do fall outside the actual Saturday Cares day and are held during the week. To coincide with Earth Day, a project was held at the Humburg Marsh in Trenton. Because this is in my extended neighborhood, I signed up for the project. For those of you who are not sure what or where this marsh is (don’t feel bad I had no idea) it is the last parcel of undeveloped land along the Detroit River. The land is opposite Humburg Island, just off Jefferson and Vreeland. Because this area is on an International waterway this marsh along with the island are part of an international cooperative with Canada. Much work was done on the political side to have this marsh be protected. Work continues as the Forest Service folks clear out plants and tree not indigenous to the area. The wildlife in the marsh is exquisite! So, our task was to plant trees. Lots of trees. Big trees, little seedlings and some bushes. Thanks has to go to DTE. They stopped in and dug the holes for the large tree, saving time and our backs. It was fabulous to see employees with their families prepare to get down and dirt all in the name of volunteerism. It was also renewing to watch a member of the senior leadership team and an entry level employee with just 90 days with the company, wrangling a tree in to the prepared hole, together. High 5’s all around as we completed the final step in planting each tree, the watering. At one point all of us planting the big trees looked up to race to get the next tree in the ground and we realized we were done. We had completed what would have taken the small staff at the marsh weeks to complete. Over in the seeding planting area the families, with kids as young as 5 were just completing their task. Rumor has it we planted 70 trees in under 2 hours.
The New Herald did a piece on the Mayor of Trenton and the Trenton City Council presenting a proclamation to the company I work for, recognizing their continued commitment to the communities where not only they do business but where their employees live. The piece discussed the Humburg project specifically. I felt a great sense of pride to be recognized in such a way. While it wasn’t recognition for me personally, it was a pat on the back for all of us at this company who choose to give back. I’ll say this and please know I am not attempting to elevate anyone’s opinion of me. But I work afternoons. So in order to be a part of project, I had to take a vacation day. I gladly took the day because I believe in the intent of the day and in project I worked on. Many of my colleagues also took personal time to work on the projects that touched their hearts. So you may understand why I was so saddened to read the comments people felt they needed to post on the New Herald website. While I firmly believe in free speech, I don’t believe our fore fathers created the 1st amendment for bashing and trashing volunteerism solely because of the company sponsoring the event. How can someone read about people giving of their time, energy and self and the only comment they can think to make is on the price of their cable bill or that their tech was late? Gee, makes me wonder…
Aside from working at the marsh, I was coordinator for a Literacy Day in SW Detroit on Saturday. My company partnered with City Year and LASED for this annual event run by Matrix. Matrix is a community service organization that runs, among many, many more projects, a federally recognized Head Start program. It was an honor to once again serve in the Mexican American community. I’ve been fortunate that this is my 3rd event within this community in as many years. My role was to coordinate all volunteers from roughly 12 service organizations as well as area corporate partners. Ideally we had hoped for 195 volunteers. The volunteers would be setting up, cleaning up, providing food and water for their fellow volunteers, working the various booths and assisting with crowd control. We also had to be sure all volunteers were registered and had been given event tee shirts. I’m thrilled to say that we did not have 195 volunteers we had 337! Everyone worked hard and despite the weather, the event was a huge success. Community leaders, business leaders and local activists made speeches and gave donations. Children heard stories; made books, played reading games and walked away with a bag of books they could call their own. The kids from City Year were a joy to work with and their passion for their tasks, be it assisting with registration or passing out maps never wavered. At the end of the event as I was putting the last if the supplies in my car, as my back was beginning to ache and exhaustion began to creep up, I noticed a small group of protesters. The protesters were demonstrating against the recent immigration laws signed in Arizona. While personally I don’t know enough about the law to comment on my feelings about it, I was dismayed to see it spill into this event. Yes you can argue the law affects the children but was this the proper forum for a protest?
I couldn’t help but wonder as I drove home if the newspaper comments or the demonstators would deter anyone from volunteering next year. Will the comments make someone think twice before giving of themselves for this or any community service event? Does our media broadcast enough about the good we do or does the bad sell more papers or bring in more viewers? It struck me then that while the local Fox station was at the Trenton sight for the entire time we were working, it was news of the moment, not news that would be used as the hook or lead story. It was filler, used only if nothing more exciting or glamorous came up. Funny that I never noticed the local ABC or NBC news vans at the Literacy Day until they were focusing on the protest. Did we send mixed messages to the kids? Protesting is more important than being a literate individual? I don’t know. While none of these comments or protests was directed at me personally, I will always take them, very personally.
For me, I’ll continue to give of my time, talents and funds to the causes that touch my heart. I will proudly proclaim my joy that I work for a company that nationwide hosted more than 250 community service project last week, And I will continue to take the heat for those who feel the need to subtract from the good in not only my community, but in me.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Let's get started...
Learning Curve is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as the course of progress made in learning something
During our lives we are more often than not in some type of learning curve. At 15 or 16 we begin the process of learning to drive. Some never master it but sadly get the legal blessing to get in a car and go. Changes in your job can have you reeling as you try to accept and put into practice new ideas and better; faster ways of doing what you already believed you did well. For many of us as we get older and things we have become accustomed to change or are improved, as technology grows, we enter into a huge learning curve. I remember as a kid, being so excited when we got an Atari machine. Finally, I was one of the cool kids. I never had the hand eye coordination to become the Pong champ of my neighborhood. Now there is Wii and I know I’ll either look so ridiculous playing any of the games or I’ll be the one throwing the controller, damaging either myself or my TV. Just imagine how different life would be if a certain former Detroit Mayor had learned the part of texting that explained the need to use a personal phone versus a business owned phone to text steamy messages to your lover. Clearly, he did not rise to meet and master that curve. Sad but funny to wonder how quickly he rounded the learning curve as a guest of Wayne County for 90 days. The image of former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich’s firing from the Celebrity Apprentice program, mostly because he could not text or e-mail, is a shining example of missing the curve, crashing and burning. But technology, business practices, driving, ethical and moral behaviors are only the tip of the learning curve iceberg.
I have found myself in the biggest learning curve of my life in the past 13 months. Thirteen month ago I was an active partner in a marriage just shy of celebrating 29 years. Then suddenly I became a widow. I’m not the perfect demographic for widowhood. I’m not the young attractive wife with small children or the older, well seasoned woman enjoying retirement and grandkids. I’m under 50, just barely, my kids are out on their own and I’m employed full time. I’ve struggled with questions, fears, sadness, heartbreak and for just a minute, the overwhelming sense that nothing will ever be right again. Most of that has passed at this point. Sometimes I’m still sad and I’ll always have questions. But my heart isn’t as broken as it was at this time last year. Most of these emotions have been replaced with all the funny, strange, silly and wonderful memories and stories I have of the 30 years I shared with my best friend, my husband. I have a peace about me that is steering me to make the most of each day. I’ve made new friends, some so unexpectedly and been passed over by some old friends too fragile yet to be with me without him. I’ve become more focused on my community, local charities and how I begin this next chapter in my life.
So the next phase of my new learning curve is just beginning. There may be dating, men to meet… oh good grief, make it stop! I can’t believe that I am actually admitting that I think I might be ready to try dating. Ok, here’s the deal, my last real live actual date… was in 1979. Ouch! I have no idea what I’m doing or should be doing or when I should be doing it… Is it ok to tell a guy you’d rather watch the hockey game than go out to dinner? Is it ok that I love the Wings and the Tigers but cannot watch basketball to save my soul? It’s the squeaky gym shoe noise, not the actual game. The jury is still out on how I feel about football. Aside from relationship issues, I have taken a good hard look at my health. I’ll face financial issues as I make decisions including, to downsize or not to downsize.
So I begin this new adventure in communication. I didn’t even know what blogging was this time last year. I hope you’ll indulge me in sharing what I learn, should have learned or may never learn with you. I‘ll explore what happens when all you know changes and you decide it will never be the same but that you can find a new life that can and will be just as wonderful. My guess is that there will be more laughter than tears and I’m sure a great story or two. So come with me as I tackle life as I don’t know it. Join me as I walk, skip and stumble my way through this latest, learning curve.
During our lives we are more often than not in some type of learning curve. At 15 or 16 we begin the process of learning to drive. Some never master it but sadly get the legal blessing to get in a car and go. Changes in your job can have you reeling as you try to accept and put into practice new ideas and better; faster ways of doing what you already believed you did well. For many of us as we get older and things we have become accustomed to change or are improved, as technology grows, we enter into a huge learning curve. I remember as a kid, being so excited when we got an Atari machine. Finally, I was one of the cool kids. I never had the hand eye coordination to become the Pong champ of my neighborhood. Now there is Wii and I know I’ll either look so ridiculous playing any of the games or I’ll be the one throwing the controller, damaging either myself or my TV. Just imagine how different life would be if a certain former Detroit Mayor had learned the part of texting that explained the need to use a personal phone versus a business owned phone to text steamy messages to your lover. Clearly, he did not rise to meet and master that curve. Sad but funny to wonder how quickly he rounded the learning curve as a guest of Wayne County for 90 days. The image of former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich’s firing from the Celebrity Apprentice program, mostly because he could not text or e-mail, is a shining example of missing the curve, crashing and burning. But technology, business practices, driving, ethical and moral behaviors are only the tip of the learning curve iceberg.
I have found myself in the biggest learning curve of my life in the past 13 months. Thirteen month ago I was an active partner in a marriage just shy of celebrating 29 years. Then suddenly I became a widow. I’m not the perfect demographic for widowhood. I’m not the young attractive wife with small children or the older, well seasoned woman enjoying retirement and grandkids. I’m under 50, just barely, my kids are out on their own and I’m employed full time. I’ve struggled with questions, fears, sadness, heartbreak and for just a minute, the overwhelming sense that nothing will ever be right again. Most of that has passed at this point. Sometimes I’m still sad and I’ll always have questions. But my heart isn’t as broken as it was at this time last year. Most of these emotions have been replaced with all the funny, strange, silly and wonderful memories and stories I have of the 30 years I shared with my best friend, my husband. I have a peace about me that is steering me to make the most of each day. I’ve made new friends, some so unexpectedly and been passed over by some old friends too fragile yet to be with me without him. I’ve become more focused on my community, local charities and how I begin this next chapter in my life.
So the next phase of my new learning curve is just beginning. There may be dating, men to meet… oh good grief, make it stop! I can’t believe that I am actually admitting that I think I might be ready to try dating. Ok, here’s the deal, my last real live actual date… was in 1979. Ouch! I have no idea what I’m doing or should be doing or when I should be doing it… Is it ok to tell a guy you’d rather watch the hockey game than go out to dinner? Is it ok that I love the Wings and the Tigers but cannot watch basketball to save my soul? It’s the squeaky gym shoe noise, not the actual game. The jury is still out on how I feel about football. Aside from relationship issues, I have taken a good hard look at my health. I’ll face financial issues as I make decisions including, to downsize or not to downsize.
So I begin this new adventure in communication. I didn’t even know what blogging was this time last year. I hope you’ll indulge me in sharing what I learn, should have learned or may never learn with you. I‘ll explore what happens when all you know changes and you decide it will never be the same but that you can find a new life that can and will be just as wonderful. My guess is that there will be more laughter than tears and I’m sure a great story or two. So come with me as I tackle life as I don’t know it. Join me as I walk, skip and stumble my way through this latest, learning curve.
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